decent insults for the road

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Bette Midler

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder